blah

Well, i've come to the conclusion that for the most part, men are douche bags. There are a few exceptions, such as D, but generally, they all can fuck off. I was really enjoying spending time with K, when we actually could make time to spend together... but that just blew up completely for some reason. So, in moving on, I've been spending a lot of time with B, only to have my texts avoided tonight, when we had plans. Then there's T, who's really sweet, but totally not for me... no spark, no chemistry. Which is too bad, because he's a nice guy.
LOL I guess I'm going to have to go through the entire alphabet before I find the right guy! well, it'll be an adventure...

life's full of surprises

Just when you think nothing can ever go right, or life's just out to fuck you over... something happens that changes your mind. It may not be a huge thing that changes the course of your future, but even the little things that make you smile... as long as it makes you stop and realize that life's not so bad.
We make plans and spend so much time focusing on what we think we want or what we think is supposed to happen... then when it doesn't work out they way we want, our life is over... Why do we do that to ourselves? I'm just as guilty of it, even lately. My plans that I thought I had all worked out, suddenly seem to be falling apart, and at first I was upset, hurt and disappointed. Then tonight... BAM! Something new just sort of fell into my lap (so to speak) and now, who knows what's ahead for me. But I have finally learned what it means to go with the flow. I'm not going to plan my life out ten years at a time, I'm not going to assume something then get disappointed when it doesn't happen. I'm just going to take life one day at a time and see where it takes me. Live life to the fullest, throw caution to the wind, and any other relevant cliche I can think of...
I bet the Goddess is looking down and me and laughing "I told you so..."

Insert catchy title here

I can't really think of anything interesting to put as a title, so make up your own...

Worked thoroughly sucked today... and that was just the meeting. I've still got to go back for 8 more hours! Ah well... it's money. Not enough, but it's money. At least there are a few people there who I get along with, which makes the job tolerable for now.

I'm starting to get a bigger following on my novel on DeviantArt. That makes me happy! I'm really working hard on this one, i want it to really go somewhere. If I'm able to get published, it would be a dream come true!

I'm at a very weird place in my life. One major disaster is about to end... I'm starting to get things back on track and my life pulled together. But I have no idea where I'm going to end up. I have one option that I like the sound of, but don't really know if it will go anywhere... I would like it to, but I have to be sure that it's not the same kind of situation that I just got out of. My other option is nice too... but it's kind of my second choice. Not that I couldn't have fun, I just had something else in mind. All i know at this point is that I want to be happy. And I don't know which option will make that happen.

Any suggestions?

Needing inspiration

I've been wanting to pick up my sketchbook again, but I'm lacking motivation. I know what I want to draw, but when I pick up the pencil, I just can't do it. So i have several projects that I'm working on at the moment, and nothing seems to be getting done.

I have, however, been doing laundry, during a Star Wars marathon, so that is productive I suppose. And I've gotten some cleaning done, so I don't really feel too lazy, just when it comes to art. I know that I need to work on my novel, as well, but there again, i've hit a brick wall. I know how the next chapter is going to go, but getting to there from where I stopped is the problem...

Oh well... I'm going back to Star Wars... a girl can never go wrong with a Jedi :)

Sarah Smile

yes, i'm listening to Hall and Oates... it's my song, ok? don't judge me!

i realized that I havent' posted anything in a while, and I didn't want to make a habit of it. So i'm posting. I'm not really sure what I'm posting about, nothing really comes to mind, but i wanted to write something so that it wasn't months between posts.

work is... work. nothing really has changed, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. i still don't get paid enough for the amount of stress this job dishes out, but i suppose that pretty typical. I do enjoy working with most of the people there, so that's a nice perk. I just wish the entire office was somewhere else... some where not so midwest. I'm definitely not a down home country girl, and the whole country lifestyle is starting to wear on my nerves. I felt more at home on the east coast, and i can't wait to get back there, hopefully next year.

my life at this point is the exciting routine of work, sleep, email, work, sleep, email... I don't really have a life outside of that, but for now that's ok. It gives me a chance to save money for moving eventually, and buying a car, which i desperately need. On the rare occasion that i do want to go somewhere, asking to borrow my parents car makes me feel like i'm in highschool again. no, actually, i had my own car in highschool, so it's even more of a step down. ah well, I guess i shouldn't complain, things could be worse.

i did manage to get out a few weeks ago and take in a fantastic concert. I saw Steel Panther live at the Voodoo Lounge in Kansas City. It was by far one of the best shows I've ever been to! If they make it back to KC before I move, i'm definitely going to be there, front row! Nothing beats being within crotch-grabbing distance of Michael Starr! LOL

Well, I can't think of anything else to write at the moment. My life isn't that exciting to have new news all the time, so my posts may start to get redundant... oh well... such is my life!

Kids and Colds

I've come to an important conclusion. At this point in my life, I don't want kids for a long time! After spending three days with S and D's kids (two beautiful girls who I adore) who were either sick or teething and constantly screaming and blowing snot everywhere... I just don't think I'm at the point where I want children... not for a long time, anyway. The past three days was the best reason ever for getting back on birth control! LOL! Not that I wasn't going to anyway... Not going to take any chances with surprise babies! I do love kids, and someday, I'm sure that I'll be ready to have a baby... but there are a lot of other things that I want to do now, and kids would just make that difficult. I've got plenty of time to be a mom...

Then to top off those noisy, scream-filled days off, I come home with a 102 degree fever and have to miss a night of work because I can't see straight. My fever was so high that my whole body hurt like I'd been run over by a semi... I still feel like shite right now, but I'm doing better. At least I feel good enough to go to work tonight... I can't afford to be sick!

I'm really hoping that I feel better by next Wednesday. I'm going to try to go to 98.9 the Rock's Harley key giveaway at the Voodoo Lounge, and watch Steel Panther live!!! It should be a hell of a show, and it's free! Wish that there was someone to go with, though... I hate doing stuff like that alone. Oh well... one more year...

country life...

...is sucktacular!! (thanks, love, for that perfect word!) I never realized just how much I hate living in the country. I got spoiled by having my apartment in KC, then living in North Carolina for a while, I had forgotten how living in the middle of nowhere was so perfectly annoying! Not only is there nothing to do, but the majority of people are so... frustrating. There are exceptions, I do have friends here. But the petty bullshit and the mindset of a lot of people just drives me up the wall! If you weren't born and raised here, or you act different than everyone else, you get treated differently. It's stupid and honestly reminds me a lot of high school... I cannot wait to get out of here and live in a place where I can be myself and I'm able to relate to people again. It's been way too long since I've been able to do that. Granted, as I said, there are exceptions. But overall, I just don't feel comfortable here anymore. This isn't my home... I'm not sure where my home is. I'm going to try a new place and see how that goes, but I don't know where I'll end up putting down roots. Where ever I'm comfortable and happy...

I havent' been home from work very long, and my days off did not allow much sleep... so I'm off to bed!