Space Truckin'

Don't mind the title... I've been listening to a lot of Deep Purple today!

Have you even been in that place of being in love with someone, but you're not sure you should, for whatever reason... maybe situation or timing... But no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it's not a good idea to fall head over heels, you're heart doesn't seem to listen and before you know it, you're already there. It's that strange mix of being frustrated and excited all at the same time. You get the fun butterflies in your stomach along with the knots because what if they don't feel the same? Love is awkward and tedious, and people need to figure out a way to fix that! It really aggravates me when people have this ideal image of love in their minds, as if it once you acheive it, nothing can hurt you. I have learned the hard way that love isn't perfect, love doesn't last forever, and love has nothing to do with marriage! Marriage is over rated and pointless. What good does a piece of paper do to keep someone for cheating or being abusive? Then to leave that person, you have to go through all kinds of red tape and expensive paperwork. That fancy piece of paper doesn't mean that a person will be faithful to you, it doesn't symbolize commitment! To me, it would mean more for a person to make a commitment to be faithful and to NOT have the legal obligation, but to stick with it because they want to. That would be a true show of love. As far as I'm concerned, at least at this point in my life, I simply want someone who cares about me, will be faithful, and won't fuck things up by lying! Unfortunately, that's not so easy to find! I'm starting to think I might have, but I'm holding my cards close to me on this one for now... we'll see what the future brings.

on to another subject... I'm working alone tonight, which will be interesting now that they've taken away our internet for the next three months. I don't know how I'm going to keep myself awake tonight...

My novel is starting to really pick up! I've almost finished chapter six, and even though I chose not to outline this one, I'm starting to get the end of the story in my mind. Working without an outline was a scary prospect, but it seems to be the first time that I've been able to just keep writing and not give up! Letting the story carry me away and allowing the plot to unfold however it wants is really working for me. Maybe this will be the novel that gets published!

Well, I'm off to scavenge for food...